Satirical article about the Somerset West Trail Blazers’ protest hike against the Heldeberg sale
Gemeenskapsnuus • Protes
“We are not giving up,” says hiking club, accepting second boerewors roll
The Somerset West Trail Blazers mounted what organisers called a “historic act of civil resistance” on the Heldeberg last Saturday — a symbolic occupation of the summit that lasted until shortly after 10:30am, when the wind picked up, Dawie’s ear began to trouble him and someone mentioned that the braai grid was already in the boot.
Deur ons Gemeenskapskorrespondent, Lizette Pietersens Maandag, 28 April 2025
It began, as most great acts of resistance do, with a WhatsApp group.
The group, named “BERG MOET BLYYYY!!!” — the extra Y’s added by Hettie van der Westhuizen, 67, club chairperson, during what she later described as “a moment of passion” — was created on a Tuesday evening following the announcement that the Heldeberg Nature Reserve was in the final stages of being sold to a UAE-based billionaire. By Wednesday morning it had 34 members. By Thursday it had 41, including three people who joined by mistake and one who has not yet figured out how to leave.
The plan was simple: a dawn hike to the summit, a peaceful occupation “for as long as it takes,” a banner and a unified message to the municipality, to the estate agents and to the billionaire himself, that the people of Somerset West would not surrender their mountain without a fight — or at the very minimum, without a strongly-worded presence on it.
“We are the Trail Blazers,” Hettie told this reporter on the eve of the hike, with the quiet authority of someone who has completed the Otter Trail twice and once finished the Swartberg Pass in deteriorating weather. “We know this mountain. We have earned this mountain. And we will stand on this mountain for as long as our knees allow, which I believe is quite some time, provided the terrain is not too technical in the final section.”
“We will stand on this mountain for as long as our knees allow — provided the terrain is not too technical in the final section.”
The protest: a timeline
06:45
Fourteen members gather at the lower parking lot. Three are late. Frikkie van Niekerk, 71, arrives in full Gore-Tex despite a forecast high of 27°C, explaining that “you can never trust the Berg.” He is not wrong, but he is very warm.
07:00
The hike departs. Hettie carries the banner. It reads “OUR BERG IS NOT 4 SALE” in red paint on a bed sheet. The number 4 was a practical decision. “I ran out of space,” she confirms, “but I think it actually reaches the youth.”
07:34
First stop for water. Also first philosophical discussion about whether the protest should have been permitted in advance. Consensus: probably not required for a hike on a public mountain. Amended consensus, after Kobus raises a point: the mountain may not be public for much longer, which is sort of the point.
08:12
Dawie Liebenberg’s ear begins. He does not mention it yet, but his expression does.
08:55
The group reaches the summit. The view is, by all accounts, magnificent — which is, as Hettie notes through slightly laboured breath, “exactly the problem.” A photo is taken. Several photos are taken. The banner is held up. The wind immediately takes the left corner. Frikkie holds it. He is already sweating considerably.
09:10
The occupation formally begins. Rusks are distributed. A flask of rooibos is shared. Someone has brought a camping chair, which raises questions about commitment levels but is admired by all.
09:40
The south-easter arrives. It does not knock. The banner becomes a liability. Dawie’s ear becomes a crisis. Frikkie’s Gore-Tex, previously mocked, is vindicated.
10:15
Sannie Drotsky mentions, quietly, that she left the braai grid in the boot “just in case.” Nobody responds immediately. The idea, however, has been introduced.
10:28
A motion is tabled — informally, as no one brought the minutes book — to “regroup at the parking lot for tactical planning.” It passes unanimously, with Hettie abstaining on principle before also descending.
11:05
The braai is lit. The protest is, by general agreement, “paused, not abandoned.” Kobus suggests this is a strategic withdrawal. Frikkie says it’s exactly what Gandhi would have done. Sannie says Gandhi was vegetarian, but the point stands.
12:30
Boerewors. Potato salad. A spontaneous discussion about whether the funicular would actually be “that bad,” which Hettie shuts down firmly before accepting a second roll.
Notule — Somerset West Trail Blazers (informeel, op die berg geskryf)
Aanwesig: 14 lede (by vertrek); 11 lede (by top); 14 lede (by braai, plus Gerrie wat nie geloop het nie maar “gebring het”).
Verskonings: Dawie se oor. Die wind. Die linker kant van die vaandel.
Besluite: (1) Protes is gepauzeer, nie gestaak nie. (2) Volgende datum sal bevestig word wanneer die weer beter is en Dawie se oor herstel het. (3) Sannie word versoek om weer aartappelslaai te bring. (4) Niemand praat weer oor die funikulêr nie.
Volgende vergadering: TBD. Liefs nie ‘n Saterdag nie, aangesien Kobus ‘n ruk-by het.
Reached for comment on Monday, Hettie was characteristically undeterred. “People will try to make this look like a failure,” she said, from her kitchen, where she was already drafting a letter to the municipal manager. “But I want them to ask themselves: did we or did we not stand on that mountain? We did. Did we or did we not make our feelings known? We absolutely did, for approximately ninety minutes, which is longer than most council meetings last before the quorum collapses.”
She paused. “Also the potato salad was excellent, which I think is relevant to morale.”
“Did we or did we not stand on that mountain? We did — for approximately ninety minutes, which is longer than most council meetings last before the quorum collapses.”
The Trail Blazers are not, it should be noted, without a plan. A subcommittee has been formed — the Save Our Berg Task Team or SOBTT, pronounced, Hettie insists, as a word — which will pursue several avenues of action in parallel. These include: a second protest hike, weather permitting; a petition, currently at 312 signatures of which approximately 40 appear to be the same two people using slightly different email addresses; an open letter to the estate agent; a closed letter to the Sheikh, which Hettie is still drafting as she is “struggling with the opening”; and a proposed heritage application, which Kobus has agreed to research once he has finished his current project, which is building a wendy house.
The municipality has not yet responded to the Trail Blazers’ protest. A spokesperson confirmed only that the sale process was ongoing and that all public comment had been duly received. When asked whether the ninety-minute summit occupation constituted public comment, the spokesperson said she would “have to check.”
The Sheikh’s office did not respond by time of publication. His cartographer was unavailable.
The baboons, who watched the entire proceedings from a rocky outcrop approximately 200 meters to the east, also did not comment, but were observed eating someone’s unattended rusks at around 09:25, which Hettie described as “an act of solidarity” and Frikkie described as “the reason you never leave your bag open on the Berg.”
Both, in their own way, are correct.
The Somerset West Trail Blazers meet on the first Wednesday of each month at the Dutch Reformed Church hall, Annandale Road. New members are welcome. Please bring your own chair. Dawie’s ear is improving.
Regstelling: ‘n Vroeër weergawe van hierdie artikel het gesê die vaandel het “BERG IS NOT 4 SALE” gesê. Dit het gesê “OUR BERG IS NOT 4 SALE.” Die weglating van “OUR” is deur Hettie as “buitengewoon pynlik” beskryf en Die Helderburger bied haar ons opreg verontskuldiging aan.
Lizette Pietersens is Die Helderburger se gemeenskapskorrespondent en ‘n voormalige lid van die Trail Blazers (bedank 2021 na ‘n meningsverskil oor roete-keuse wat hierdie koerant nie sal herhaal nie). Sy het die boerewors ook gehad. Dit was goed. • Tonge in die Kies is ‘n satiriese rubriek. Die Somerset West Trail Blazers is ‘n fiktiewe klub, maar Hettie se gees leef in elke Suid-Afrikaner wat al ooit ‘n protes gepauzeer het vir kos.