New Spa Treatment Centre Opening Specials – Hot Rock Treatment Really Is HOT Left My Body Full Of Blotches. Now I Look Like A Dalmatian.
A newly opened wellness spa in Somerset West has come under scrutiny following customer complaints that its signature “volcanic hot rock treatment” may be operating slightly closer to actual lava than originally advertised.
The luxury spa launched this week promising “deep restorative thermal rejuvenation” complete with cucumber water whale music and introductory specials for stressed Helderberg residents.
However several customers emerged from treatments looking less rejuvenated and more “unevenly toasted.”
“I expected relaxation” explained one Strand woman while applying aloe vera to her shoulder. “Instead I now resemble a nervous Dalmatian.”
Witnesses claim the treatment room briefly smelled “like a braai area after rugby finals.”
Management defended the experience insisting the stones remain within “premium therapeutic temperature ranges” though staff admitted one therapist may have become “overenthusiastic with geothermal energy.”
A Gordon’s Bay resident reportedly lasted only six minutes before sitting upright and asking whether the rocks had recently been removed from an active volcano.
Meanwhile Somerset West wellness influencers continue praising the treatment online using phrases like trauma release and heat alignment journey.
Medical experts confirmed the blotches would likely fade within days though one Stellenbosch yoga instructor reportedly considers them “aesthetic.”
The spa has already introduced revised safety procedures including a mandatory question asking clients whether they wish to remain “medium rare or well done.”
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