Gossip & Reader Submissions
Official Dives into Problem Headfirst, Emerging Damp but Resolute
THE HELDERBURGER Friday, 29 May 2026 Somerset West • Strand • Gordon’s Bay “All the …read more
Strand
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Wind Wall Exposed as Elaborate Hoax
WIND WALL EXPOSED AS ELABORATE HOAX: MUNICIPALITY WISHES TO CLARIFY THAT IT HAS NEVER OWNED …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Sunset Tavern Restaurant, Strand – a Strong Local Recommendation
Restaurant Review • Strand • Sunset Tavern Sunset Tavern Restaurant, Strand: a strong local recommendation, …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Helderberg Fishermen Spend More On Tackle Than Actual Fish Could Ever Possibly Be Worth
Financial analysts across the Helderberg have confirmed local fishermen now spend dramatically more on fishing …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Haircut and Unsolicited Life Assessment Simultaneously
Barber Delivers Haircut and Unsolicited Life Assessment Simultaneously A barbershop serving the Strand area has …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
MORNING SCHOOL RUN NOW OFFICIALLY RECOGNISED AS TACTICAL MILITARY EXERCISE
Transport specialists traffic officials exhausted parents and at least three emotional grandparents have confirmed that …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Strand Beachfront Gym Members Spend More Time Filming Workouts Than Exercising
A beachfront gym in Strand has come under criticism after members allegedly began treating exercise …read more
Talk of the Town
CEY vs CFM: THE GREAT HELDERBERG GRUDGE MATCH
COMMUNITY & LOCAL AFFAIRS CEY vs CFM: THE GREAT HELDERBERG GRUDGE MATCH —THE RIVALRY NOBODY …read more
Gossip & Reader Submissions
Helderberg School WhatsApp Groups Officially More Dangerous Than Load Shedding
Education experts across the Helderberg have confirmed that the modern school WhatsApp parent group has …read more
Guides & Things to Do
25 THINGS TO DO IN THE HELDERBERG
THE HELDERBURGER A field guide for residents who keep meaning to get out more and …read more