PROMENADE RENOVATION COMPLETED — RESIDENTS IMPRESSED BY CONSISTENT LACK OF CHANGE

Officials Confirm Project Was “Exactly as Planned,” Public Still Searching for Evidence STRAND — After 14 months of construction, detours, dust and philosophical reflection, the long-awaited renovation of the Strand Promenade has officially been declared complete, with municipal leaders proudly announcing that the project successfully achieved its primary objective: looking almost identical to how it…

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KAROOLIS’S CAPERS IN ROOI-ELS

Your Community. Your Stories. Your Baboons. When the Neighbours Have Fangs, a Troop and Absolutely No Manners By Our Rooi-Els Correspondent  |  Wildlife & Community Desk If you have ever wondered what it would be like to live next door to a gang of highly intelligent, perpetually hungry and completely shameless freeloaders, welcome to Rooi-Els….

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Beachfront Dog-Walking Permits Introduced ‘To Preserve Order Among Leisure Activities

STRAND – Residents wishing to walk their dogs along Strand Beach will now be required to obtain a “Recreational Canine Mobility Ticket,” following a new municipal initiative aimed at “formalizing informal enjoyment.” The policy, introduced this week, requires dog owners to purchase and display valid tickets before setting paw/or foot/on the beachfront. Structured Leisure Implemented…

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Competing Auntie Intelligence Agencies Are Tracking Everyone’s Business.

Originally Posted on The Domestic DispatchAll the news that was none of your business until now Breaking: Third cousin’s new haircut rated “suspicious” by all five agencies. Developing: Someone’s been lying about their age since 1994. A bombshell exposé reveals a vast, decentralised network of domestic surveillance operations, each claiming exclusive jurisdiction over your personal…

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