Helderberg Couple Argues About Thermostat Like It Is Foreign Policy
What began as a minor disagreement over 0.5 degrees Celsius has escalated into what observers are now calling a “full geopolitical situation” inside a Somerset West home, with both parties deeply entrenched behind positions described as “entirely reasonable” by each of them and “absolute madness” by the other.
The husband maintains that 19°C is warm enough for the house and that anything above this constitutes a reckless misuse of electricity. The wife maintains that 19°C is not warm and never has been and that his relationship with the thermostat is “controlling and frankly personal.” Both parties have produced evidence. Neither has reviewed the other’s evidence in good faith.
A third party, a teenage son who made the catastrophic error of adjusting the thermostat independently on Wednesday evening, has not been spoken to since and has begun taking his meals in his room, which is, ironically, the warmest room in the house because he leaves his laptop on.
Neighbours report that the couple are otherwise perfectly functional and that the thermostat issue surfaces each year with the onset of cooler evenings, peaks around June and resolves itself by approximately September when the south-easter makes the whole question academic. “The wind sorts it out,” a neighbour noted. “The wind sorts out a lot of things in this area.”
A family friend with knowledge of the situation notes that there is also an unresolved matter concerning a window that was left open during a cold night in July of last year. This has not been formally raised but hangs over proceedings like weather over the mountain.
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