Personally Designed Traffic

Helderberg Man Explains Traffic Like He Personally Designed It

A local man with no stated or implied professional qualification in traffic engineering, municipal planning, road design or any field that would confer relevant authority spent forty-three minutes at a weekend braai explaining, in precise and confident detail, exactly why the R44 is the way it is, why the interchange works the way it works and how all of it could, very simply, be fixed by someone willing to think clearly about the problem.

He used his hands throughout. He borrowed a pen at one point to draw something on a paper plate which he referred to back to three separate times. He used the phrase “the thing people don’t understand is” on six occasions, which his wife later confirmed is “usually where it gets going properly.”

His audience of four listened with varying degrees of engagement. Two nodded steadily. One asked a question that was interpreted as supportive and then regretted asking it as it opened a new fifteen-minute chapter on the Somerset West CBD. One fell into what appeared to be a light sleep and was not challenged on this. A fifth person, who arrived partway through, was immediately briefed and held in place by social obligation for the remaining portion.

The man has not worked in traffic management. He drives the R44 regularly, which he considers equivalent preparation. He has strong views also on the Strand Main Road and on the general situation in Faure at school pickup time and is available to discuss both at any future social gathering where food is being served and people feel it would be rude to leave.

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